An Irish girl with the worst luck.

Yep. That's me.

I swear, if something has a chance of going wrong for me, it does. I went to get my taxes done thinking I was going to get a pretty nice refund. We had plans to pay some bills, get groceries, maybe even splurge a little and get me the two little tattoos on my wrists I wanted. Instead, I sat in the tax place for an hour going over the numbers just to find out that I actually OWE $555 to the IRS because not enough came out of my check in 2009.

Not only do I owe that money to the IRS, but I also owe $167 to the tax place for filing my taxes and they won't file the paperwork until I pay the balance. My savings account pretty much has cobwebs in it so where did they want me to get the money from?

The tax guy tells me I can make payments on the one to the IRS monthly which would help me out. I get semi-good news just to find out that yes, you can make monthly payments but there is money due up front (which is NOT applied to the balance; it's only for the "convenience" of letting you pay in installments. *eyeroll*) and that you will gain interest every month, starting at 25%.

Figures.

Now, in 2006, that bitch my stepson calls mom got our entire tax refund. It was our first year married and we filed jointly in 2007 for the very first time. We were excited to do so and we were even more excited to find out we were getting about $800 back at a time we so desperately needed it. Instead of getting a check from the government, we got a notice that our refund was divided between my husband's student loans and back child support. Even my half.

I told the tax guy about it last year and he said he could get it back for me if I could find my 2006 tax returns. Of course, I couldn't. BUT, this year...I did. So I brought him the paperwork and he researched it. I should be getting approximately $300-400 back. Great!


Ha. Did you really think it would end there? Riiiiiight. Turns out, after I file the paperwork for the 2006 refund to get my portion back, it takes about 6-12 weeks to get a check in. If I file the taxes for 2009 at the SAME time as the paperwork for 2006, my refund check won't get here until at least 5 weeks after the deadline for paying the total in full to the IRS.

Awesome.

So, now I'm forced to ask my aunt to borrow the money after she already wrote me a check for the $167 for the tax place. She said she wasn't loaning me that money, she was giving it to me. I didn't want her to but she insisted. This money is only going to be a loan until I get my check in but I still feel like shit asking for money.

It seems my bad luck never ends. I've tried having a more positive attitude about things and although life shits on me time and time again, I always get up and brush it off and move on stronger and wiser because of it. The truth is though, life is not good. Life is just "okay" until the next bad thing happens...and it will. Can you name one person who has had a GREAT life, no problems, no worries, no stress, beginning to end? Of course you can't. That's because there is always bad news or something waiting to ruin our day right around the corner. I never anticipate these things because I don't want to dwell on the negative, but they are drawn to me.

If it CAN go wrong, it WILL go wrong.

I just wish things would change for once. We've dealt with not seeing my stepson. We've dealt with not seeing my cousins. We've dealt with my sister-in-law and dumbass uncle's wife having children before us. We've dealt with our only chance at a pregnancy but ended in miscarriage anyway. We've dealt with the fact that we probably will never be parents. We've dealt with the reality that we probably will never be wealthy or well off.

I just want some light at the end of the tunnel because right now, it's pitch black and we're trying so very hard to find our way out. I just wish that whatever powers there are in this universe would hear our prayers for once. Just once. I just want to ENJOY my life. I don't want to die some day with regret. I want to know that I lived my life to the fullest and that it was a GREAT life; at least great as great can get on this planet.

Universe? Please just hear me this once. Please.