DESTINED TO REIGN


Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Ummm....huh???

Yeah, I don't know how this happened either. This is a picture of it tonight. I took it this morning. But it's looked like this since the moment the dye ran across it. I don't get it. I only put it in negative because it's light. See, I haven't had AF since February 26th. I tested a few weeks ago when I thought AF might come and the test was stark white. *Blinding* white. I take this one this morning and immediately as the dye runs across the test, I can see the line appearing. It's been there all day, hasn't faded. I took the stupid thing because I was spotting the smallest amount of tan ever...kind of like a few days after AF is done. Normally by now, AF would be here full force. But no cramping, no aching, no nothing. Just this, a lot of CM (sorry), hungry as hell, and tired like I've never been before. That's it. Nothing out of the ordinary for me. I'm stumped. (P.S. You'll probably have to click on it to see it better. I don't know why, but I can't get my hopes up about this. Thank you IF.)
Oh, did I mention that I've now looked up every positive blue dye test on the internet and a lot of people have had false positives with them? Of course, I already knew this but boy...what a bummer. :( Then I think, what if it's another chemical? God, I couldn't go through that again, I just couldn't. It hurt the first time but it will kill me a second time. Of course I want this to end up being for real, but I know better. Ugh. I hate knowing better.

2 comments:

jenn said...

Hey honey!!
I completely understand freaking out & not wanting to get invested in believing anything could be real for you- I do... but I am hoping that this is your well deserved chance. My hopes & heart are with you right now.

Just to give my own experience- I got the faintest of positives also- at 14dpiui with a confirmed beta of 95. The tests are not always the best- I truly believe that during my 2 years ttc I got a negative on a chemical cycle. My symptoms with the pumpkin were nil- could have sworn AF was right around the corner- except for the all encompasing exhaustion. That was my ~only~ symptom.
I am here for you- e-mail me if you want. I am truly hoping that life is turning around for you sweetie!

Catie said...

No matter what happens you are still in my thoughts and prayers. Miracles do happen (after being told I had a 1 in 150 chance of conceiving on my own I ovulated on cd 37 and have the result running around). Keep us updated!