Sorry.

I've been so busy lately, I haven't even turned my computer on at all. As a matter of fact, my desk is just a "thing" collector right now since I come home from work, do some schoolwork and go to bed. Bleh...how boring.

Anyway, I haven't had the surgery yet but it's set for July 14th. I went for my blood-work on Thursday morning and they tested thyroids, CBCs, and I took a urine pregnancy test. Negative. Heh, big surprise.

As a side note, I had been praying that it would come out positive so that I didn't have to have the surgery. I'm not worried about the surgery itself, I'm more worried about the bill I'm going to receive afterward. I'm afraid it's going to be more money down the drain so that they can say "We're not sure what's wrong but we think you're not ovulating". Yeah, great, I already knew that geniuses.

They didn't call me with any bad results on the bloodwork and since I've taken my own tests and they've been negative, I assume theirs was too. So I'm set for surgery at 8am on the 14th. I have to be there about an hour and a half before and I'll be there for about 3-4 hours total. Then I can go home and sleep and have the next two days off work (thanks to vacation time). So, I have a five day weekend in about 10 days and surprise!...the 18th is my 26th birthday. Great birthday present, don't you think? I mean, it totally beats getting a positive pregnancy test, right?

Ugh.

Depending on what they discover from the surgery, I'm thinking we won't go the IUI route. In my heart, I know the problem is that I don't ovulate. If he is only giving me Clo.mid to ovulate and it doesn't work, what is the point of an IUI? You have to have an egg to inseminate and if there is no egg, then it's just wasted money. I'm not going directly to IVF, I know that for sure. I think I'll either try a few rounds of Clo.mid or go to injectables, which was also an option. I don't know, but the more and more I think about it, the more I realize that IUIs may be kind of useless, especially since the issue is with not ovulating; not on DH's side.

My aunt told me today that I'm going to have a girl. I wanted to laugh because I wanted to say "How will I have a girl if they can't even figure out what's wrong in the past 6 years?". It's almost humorous at this point. I know by body better than anyone and I just don't think I'm ever going to be a mom. It breaks my heart, but what can I do? There is only so much that I can afford and I'm not going to make us go bankrupt for something that may never happen. I have and will sacrifice a lot of things...but shelter, food, and the health of DH and I? Never.

Speaking of the health of DH, he broke his collarbone two Thursdays ago playing soccer. He collided with another player and the guy must have had his elbow out and hit DH just right. DH kept playing through the entire game but was hurting pretty badly afterward. He waited and waited thinking he just bruised the muscle, which I must admit, I thought that too. Well, finally I made him go to the ER yesterday morning and the results weren't great.

They took him for an x-ray and then returned him to the room. He sat there, still in pain, and said he didn't think it was fractured. He was trying to convince himself that it was just a bruised muscle. That is until the doctor came in. The doctor took one look at him and said "Well...you broke your clavicle. And pretty badly at that." I just shook my head. I had a feeling it was going to be worse than we originally thought. The doctor said it's already started healing and that he can't play sports for 6 weeks. I told him soccer is done for quite a while. About a month prior to this, he hurt his knee and had to miss two games. I told him it's time to face it; he's not as young as he used to be and he needs to take it easy. I know it's something he loves to do, but at almost 32, playing soccer twice a week takes a toll on your body. Hell, it can take a lot out of a 12 year old! I don't think that 32 is old at all, but he needs to start playing in leagues with people his own age. The kids he plays with are younger than him and play rougher and he doesn't play like he used to be able to play in college.

So, he has to use a sling on and off throughout the day and has pain meds to take if he needs them. Sleeping is the toughest on him right now but I think it's getting better. We'll see.

Oh, and I saw my first Red Sox game at Fenway last night. About a month and a half ago, we had a contest at work to take the best department group picture. Well my manager, knowing I'm a photographer, asked if I would take the picture. So I did and uploaded it onto my computer. I realized that there was a trashcan in the way and a piece of hair was going over one of the girls faces and made her look like she was making a weird face. For the next 3 hours, I worked pretty intently on removing the trashcan from the picture and fixing the girls face. Well, the picture came out pretty good if I do say so myself and apparently my manager entered it into the contest. At first I didn't think we won, but earlier this week, she told us we had won 14 tickets to the Red Sox game so she was going to give 7 people two tickets each. We would have to tell her who wanted to go to the game and then we'd put our names in a hat and she'd pick 7 of us. I was kind of pissed at this because I took the damn picture, broke my tripod that day, and worked my ass off to make that picture better. In my opinion, I should have gotten two tickets just for doing that but I entered my name anyway. Well, it turned out that my name was picked second so I got two tickets. DH and I drove to Boston and watched the Red Sox mop the floor with the Orioles. It was a good time and an experience I didn't think would be quite as awesome as it actually was. The seats are tough on your back because they're wooden but damn...it was good times. I have plenty of pictures and will post some soon.

Phew, ok, I'll shut up now. Nancy, thank you for reminding me to make a new post and I'm sorry it took a month! LOL I'll try to post more often and I will most definitely keep you updated on the surgery and what comes next for us in this unbelievably long TTC battle.

Night ya'll! <3