Am I resorting to monthly posting?

Sorry I haven't been around lately; things are always hectic around Christmas but every Christmas gets harder and harder as we have to spend it just husband and wife, not husband, wife, and baby.

It's always hard to watch something you can't have happen to so many people. Not just having children but making decent money and being able to do normal things, like grocery shopping. Do you know I cannot remember the last time I went grocery shopping? I want to say it was approximately 3 months ago, but that may be being too generous. We just haven't had the money. We're back to getting child support taken out of my husband's check (that's a WHOLE different bag of shit we'll explore another day...) and it's tough to survive on what we're bringing in. I'm hoping that after Christmas will be easier because we'll have no car payment and no gifts to buy. I'm trying to stay positive.

On a "trying to conceive" note (whatever the hell "trying" means) we're back on Clo.mid starting yesterday. I took a cycle off after the miscarriage and figures, the cycle lasted something like 60 days. So, now I'm waiting for AF to go fuck herself and popping 4 white pills every day for 5 days. Lots of fun. It gives me terrible migraines this time; not sure what's up with that. I don't know why I even bother with this catastrophe anymore. It's so obvious we'll never be parents. I just can't foresee having children in this house or any other. What a bleak outlook. Too bad it'll be true.

The end of the year always sucks. We always get slammed by negative things. They dropped my husband from my insurance because of some stupid dependent audit and said I didn't send in my marriage certificate. I know I did and the system shows it too; but they still dropped him. So now I'm waiting for them to fix their mistake and reinstate him. That means we'll have to pay for deductions we've missed already. Great. I had a doctor's appointment scheduled for my husband (FINALLY) the first week of January but it doesn't look like this BS is gonna be fixed by then. We had back to back appointments which is gonna be hard to get again with this Dr. Ugh.

Were you expecting good news? Because good news doesn't reside here. Hmm. That's a good blog name. Good News Doesn't Reside Here. Heh.